smile

Fist she regards with her big doe-eyes. A head-on stare. You can almost see the wheels of her developing brain turn. Then a big smile unfolds. It blooms into a grin from ear to ear. She smiles with her whole body. She wiggles her shoulders and tummy in mirth. A small, incoherent sound is heard. To my ears it’s a hearty laugh. Her eyes sparkle with the happiness that only babies know. The minutes that turned to hours talking, playing, dancing around are repaid with the toothless smile. She smells of milk and baby drool.

my 1st note

How long have I been procastinating? A year? more? The intention was always to document the daily dramas of my life so I can recollect on somethin when the time comes. Nah. I made that last sentence up. Hmmmm.... i'm gonna stop using capital letters now.....i shouldnt. One of the objectives is to remind myself that the English language doesn't include vernacular. In this world of multiplicity it is easy to forget syntax.

Would you believe that the impetus that finally motivated me to actually click until i reached this page was a nameless student. He wasn't good looking at all. But he passed me by at the hospital while I was on my way out, thinking about the things i need to buy at the grocery store to tide us till weekend. On seeing this particular student in his whites (also because of a book I was recently reading: "The Three Ring Circus", which was a collection of essays from parents on the horrors and joys of parenthood) I realized that I have a newfound....not newfound.....hmmm....I realized that I have greater respect for parents everywhere, especially the ones who put their kids through school.

One month before Lily was born, Dr. Onate was showing me a letter from a child to her mother that was sent to his wife by their daughter. I wasn't very moved by that letter. But now, 4 months after, I would have reacted differently.